sms joke

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"



What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!



The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.



Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?



WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!



What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.



Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.



Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!



What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!



What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors



Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.



Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!



Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.



I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.



I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.



How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.